I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
