Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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