I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
