alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
