Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize