Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
