I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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