I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
