Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
