she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
