i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were trust falling into bushes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
