i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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