I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
