We're like a lot better than the average bears
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
