I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize