We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize