shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize