Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
