What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
