Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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