I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
