WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
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