he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
