1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
