Your tits are I can't wait for
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
