Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
