Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
