even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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