The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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