saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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