Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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