Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
