dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
