Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
