I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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