i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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