If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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