You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
