Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
