No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize