Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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