You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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