Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
