How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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