ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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