I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
