I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize