yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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