i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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