You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
