It's Friday. Sex?
I think I won the penis lottery.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
