my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
