nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
