Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
