never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize