I want to have your abortion
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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