i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
