I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
