I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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