smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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