I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
God I need to hump something, right now.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize